Wednesday, April 15, 2015

4 Ways to Feel AWESOME About Yourself (because trust me, you are... in your own way)

When was the last time you felt bad about yourself? Maybe something didn't go your way or you messed up big time in your personal or professional life.

Whatever it is that happened, the aftermath left your confidence pretty shaken, like a swift kick to the gut. Then thoughts like, "You're a loser," and "You'll never be as good as you want to be," start to creep in.

It's a natural consequence of feeling like a failure because you'll want to get some form of reassurance or confirmation from other people (like the man/woman in your life) that you're not as bad as you think. But then, this attitude actually alienates the people around you, sensing a desperation from you that repels them.

If you've gone through this in some way, you should also know that having low self-confidence is the quickest way to sabotage your love life. Attraction can't grow under these circumstances, especially when a negative, self-loathing attitude is like a cancer in your mind, not leaving room for anything else.

A lot of people who are dear to me have also experienced the same thing. I've been there before, at many points in my life, so I'm here to share that there is a way to climb out of the pit of self-pity. All you need to do is to learn some basic mental habits that will act like rungs in a ladder to get you out, step by step:

#1: Look Inward
The problem with many of us is that we tend to judge our self-worth based on the outside world. Our inner reality becomes permeated by our external circumstances, which then leave us feeling like crap. Here's what I mean: when "it" hits the fan, the common response for most of us is to let our misfortunes define who we are on the inside, and we allow whatever's giving us grief (e.g. finances, job security, relationship status) to have power over us. But the fact is that we're not going to feel any better about ourselves even after we've made more money, lost 20kg, or have a trophy boyfriend/girlfriend. Deep down, there's still that inner reality telling us that we're "never good enough."

This is highly toxic because you're hinging your self-confidence on things from the outside world. As a result, you'll always want people to reassure you all the time.

So, the biggest step you can take is simply realising that you are NOT your salary, the car you drive, the relationship you're in, or any of things that are just on the surface.

#2: Reclaim Your Personal Power
The great thing about taking on this new perspective is that you'll gain an incredible amount of leverage in your internal power struggle. By not allowing the outside world to tell you who you are as a person, you'll be the one who decides just how much you're worth. Not your circumstances, and certainly not other people.

So now you'll slowly stop begging your partner or your friends for a sense of reassurance since you already know that you're perfectly fine as you are. When other people's opinions and circumstances don't bring you down anymore, this dramatic shift will have a profound effect in your life.

This time, it's your inner reality projecting itself to the outside world – not the other way around.

That means you'll be the one telling other people what to think of you, thanks to your new outlook on life.

#3: Live in the Present
Now that you've turned the tables on life, you'll find that not begging people will get you what you wanted in the first place.

Ironic, but true.

The real trick is to shut off that constant, self-sabotaging inner monologue that you've been listening to all this time. That's just the outside world poisoning your thoughts and playing tricks on your mind.

So tune it out and be objective about yourself – are you really as bad as you think you are? 

Or is it just your brain taking your worst fears and insecurities and needlessly AMPLIFYING them?

The best way to get on top of these thoughts is to believe that things will improve on their own eventually.

Living in the future is not a good place to be in, so you have to act on what's in front of you, i.e. THE PRESENT.

This is a powerful position to operate from, because now you're looking within (as opposed to depending on other people's approval) – and living in the present gives you the needed push to change your life.

Don't get me wrong though; I'm not saying my life is perfect, because it's far from perfect. I don't have everything all figured out either. I'm just sharing what I've learned in the past year.

I still have to consciously REFUSE to act like a victim of my own circumstances; because desperation and neediness are NOT sexy qualities I want to have.

#4: Act With Power
Taking a new perspective on life has a powerful effect on your daily actions. Most of us sometimes take for granted what we do every day is heavily influenced by what's going on inside our heads.

This is why we tend to repeat the same harmful patterns and drive people away, thanks to a, "I'll be better someday, but not today," attitude.

Well, that day will never come if you don't do something about it NOW.

The present moment is the ONLY opportunity to take action, but you have to act without thinking about what others might say.

You must tell yourself, "I'm okay with who I am NOW, and it's enough for the people in my life."

And when you act this way – as opposed to doing things out of fear or a "please like me" attitude – other people will notice. You'll find yourself free from self-doubt and carry yourself in a way that exudes genuine, honest-to-goodness confidence. Nobody expects you to be perfect because nobody is; so just be the best version of yourself. It takes conscious effort, and it has to start somewhere.

In other words, don't "try" to be awesome; just BE awesome!

Yours truly,

Queen of Epic Awesomeness

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Dedicated to all those lost souls who have forgotten to believe in the immensity of love... :)

You can choose to blame your circumstances on God, fate, bad luck, other people or bad choices...

... or you can fight back. 

Things aren't always going to be fair in the real world. That's just the way it is. 

But for the most part, you get what you give.

The rest of your life is being shaped right now...

... with the dreams you chase, the choices you make, and the person you decide to be. 

 The rest of your life is a long time... 

... and the rest of your life starts right now.

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Something Beyond the Quiet Persistence of a Dream

There are moments in our lives 
when we find ourselves at a crossroads.



Without a roadmap. 

The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. 

Of course, when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back. 

But once in a while people push on to something better. 

Something found just beyond the pain of going it alone... 

... and just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in...

... or to give someone a second chance. 

Something beyond the quiet persistence of a dream...

... because it's only when you're tested, that you truly discover who you are...

... and it's only when you're tested, that you discover who you can be. 

The person you want to be does exist. 

Somewhere on the other side of hard work and faith and belief... 

... and beyond the heartache and fear of what lies ahead.

Monday, December 29, 2014

More Than A Conqueror: Chapter 2 - Future Leaders of Tomorrow

Chapter 2: 

Future Leaders of Tomorrow

In 2010, I worked in a preschool for a while (about a year) as the Administrative & Operations Manager, assisting the Principal in administrative tasks and school syllabuses. I loved talking to the teachers there because I would learn something new about them - and about the children they teach - almost everyday. I also loved having conversations with the schoolchildren because they were so fun to talk to! ;) 

Anyway, when I observe the behaviour of the people around me (and also myself), I feel that our parents could have done some things differently while raising us so that we would be able to handle certain life's challenges and struggles better as adults. These were the things that the teachers at the school had taught me:


Children should be treated as children, not simply small adults. They must be treated with tender compassion, and you will come to realise that they are a source of one of life’s greatest joys.


We must recognise that each child is a unique person. It is dangerous to make too much comparison between children because they vary in talents and dispositions. They should be considered individually.


Do small problem-solving exercises to help a child think about the feelings of others and learn the value of consideration. Over time, even a young child sees that words or actions can make another person smile or feel better, and that is when he or she is kind to someone else.


Discipline does not necessarily mean punishment. Discipline really means showing the way to go, as well as deterring the way not to go. You are more than just a friend to children. By word and example you have to show and teach them right from wrong, and truth from error.


The best way to encourage truthfulness in your child is to be a truthful person yourself. Let your child hear you being truthful with other adults. Another way to promote the value of honesty: don’t overreact if your child lies to you. Instead, help him or her find a way to tell the truth.


Children have to learn to make decisions, and in time will make all of their own decisions. Parents should make it as easy as possible for their children to come to them for good counsel and direction so that they are able to be good decision-makers.


Let the children see you demonstrate your love and affection for the people in your life. And, of course, don’t let a day pass without expressing your affection for them. When children feel free to express their love to us, we instil in them perhaps the greatest value of all.


We should have respect for children. They have feelings, too. If they misbehave, talk to them firmly but gently, teach them and reason with them if we have to. We should never abuse them verbally or physically.


Children meet with disappointments sometimes. They must be shown how to deal with them. We should not be the source of discouragement. We should help them succeed, build self-esteem and self-respect, and show them their worth.


Determination is a value that you can encourage from a very young age. First, you praise your children for their initiative in doing something. Congratulate them when they manage to do things that are difficult for them. Then you provide them with honest yet gentle feedback.


Children cannot stand alone. But they must be taught to stand alone. The time will come when you will not be there to prop them up and they must learn to stand, and how to stand. The time will come when we must turn them loose, and that is not easy to do, but must be done.


In order to help children internalise a true sense of justice, parents need to encourage them to take some action to remedy a wrong. Having a child say sorry and make amends in a proactive way emphasise the importance of treating people fairly.


Thursday, October 23, 2014

More Than A Conqueror: Chapter 1 - Live the Impossible Dreams

Chapter 1: 

Live the Impossible Dreams

Whilst it is perfectly sensible to stay grounded in your thoughts and to keep things simple, do dream and imagine like a child. Delve into a journey beyond anything comprehensible. That vision in your head will open up both your mind and heart to possibilities and opportunities.

1. Beyond Limitations

Have a 'gravity-defying' mindset. Play by the rules, but, when necessary, break the rules – only if it is absolutely necessary, of course! When someone says, "That’s not possible!" you say, "I have to at least try to prove you wrong!" Be a go-getter. It's better to have tried and failed than to never have tried at all.

2. Beyond All Odds


Adopt a 'can-do' attitude. Say, "Yes!" and "I can do it!" rather than "No," or "I don't believe I can." Possessing a 'can-do' attitude breeds confidence in individual abilities. Have confidence in yourself, because underestimating yourself hinders you from doing something above your expectation.

3. Beyond Reason

You don't need a reason for everything you do; just go with your gut instinct. Your gut is smarter than your heart. Be bold. Be courageous. Be adventurous. Challenge the status quo. Be that person who says, "Challenge accepted!" when someone says, "It has never been done before."

4. Beyond Sense

People with a sense of humour and absurdity are hopeful about the future because they are usually cheerful and optimistic. Be one of them. Be confident in your abilities to achieve your goals and are excited about the possibilities of positive new experiences, even when the situation may seem bleak or hopeless.

5. Beyond Reality 

Be on cloud nine sometimes. Imagining that you are someplace else often helps improve your work performance. Also, surround yourself with blue for better associative thinking. Red on the other hand can make you more alert and analytic. Therefore, surround yourself with red to solve problems and blue to be more creative and productive.

6. Beyond Boundaries 

Set challenges for yourself that make you aim higher than you are already aiming and see how far or fast you can go. What we are born with physically does not define who we are or what we can do. What we make of ourselves define who we are, and the way to do it is to constantly stretch our boundaries in search of intriguing new experiences and solutions.  

7. Beyond Logic 

What may not seem logical to us at first may eventually make sense as we see the 'why' in our decisions. Step out of your comfort zone. Be someone who is able to adapt easily to new, status-quo-challenging plans when a standing plan goes awry. Only people who are willing to take bold risks without fear of judgment or ridicule can truly succeed in life. 

 8. Beyond Explanation 

Where there is a readiness to meet new challenges head-on, there is iron will and determination behind it. First and foremost, have faith in yourself. Muster all your courage and willpower to be the best you can be, and you will realise that you are actually much better than you give yourself credit for. 

 9. Beyond Expectations 

It is rare for anyone to exceed expectations unless they do it on purpose. Exceeding expectations requires more effort to surpass what might be described as "acceptable performance." The key here is to keep persevering. Sooner or later, you will exceed your own expectations, and you will find that it is what empowers you and drives you to be the best. 

 10. Beyond Perception 

Basically, to live beyond perception is to observe, analyse and understand. Sometimes, based on what we see or perceive, we tend to fear or ridicule what we don't know or understand. So take the time to learn new things that are not of the social norm from all aspects, and you will find that illusion is a matter of perspective. 

 11. Beyond Concept 

In the physical world, it is impossible to turn back time. However, beyond the concept of it is that we need to have some of our oldest and most treasured pieces of our past, be it experiences or mistakes, to be part of our future. They help shape who we are today, so ponder on the 'what ifs' and 'what could have beens' and how you can be better from now on. 

 12. Beyond Understanding 

Sometimes the lack of understanding of something leaves us in wonder and utter bewilderment. But when we actually take the time to study and understand something, and learn to make it happen, we could just be the leaders or pioneers of something even greater, much like some of the greatest inventors in history.

Monday, August 18, 2014

12 Ways To Be & Stay Creative

“Do interesting things and interesting things will happen to you.”
—Sir John Hegarty
(Legendary, World-Famous Advertising Creative)

1. Always Have Your Notebook with You
Yes, like, all the time. You never know when your muse will strike.

2. Doodle or Scribble
Doodles and scribbles can be the source of inspiration for artworks. They also help you reflect on your own feelings and develop creative ideas.

3. Be Thankful
You actually have eyes to see, hands to draw or write and a sound mind to generate ideas. What more could you ask for? Count your blessings.

4. Be a Daredevil
Take risks. Do extreme sports, or go for an adventure by yourself. Life experiences can inspire larger-than-life essays, drawings or paintings.

5. Free Your Mind
Be open to criticisms, suggestions and opinions. Free your mind from worries. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Only then can you truly be creative and stay that way.

6. Don’t Be Hard On Yourself
Don’t force yourself to write, draw or design if you haven’t felt it yet. Once you find yourself thinking, “Ah, this is it!” then only would you be confident enough to come up with something creatively spectacular.

7. Be a Bathroom Singer
There’s nothing more liberating than singing in the shower… because the acoustics are great AND it’s an awesome stress-reliever! It’s another way to free your mind, really.

8. Read the Dictionary
What better way to learn new words and get ideas from than to read the dictionary every now and then?

9. Frame Your Art
Paint, draw, sketch or even write something (typography or calligraphy, maybe?) and frame it up. Be proud of your creative work.

10. Don’t Be Perfect; Just Be Yourself
There’s nothing more attractive than being yourself. Integrity in your art will shine through and stand out.

11. Surround Yourself with Creative People
They say, “You are who you hang out with,” so make sure you do hang out with creative people who inspire you so that you could learn from one another, and grow.

12. Go Somewhere New
Travel, explore and discover places, and attend events to experience new cultures. Meeting new people and getting to know their life experiences and stories will surely inspire you to be more creative in your expressions in art.